What Are You Thankful For?

The below post is by Ernest Mark, a 2011 ICF Annual International Conference speaker. Watch for posts from other 2011 conference speakers on the ICF blog over the next several months.

I love Thanksgiving Weekend. I love the spaciousness and the time to share and enjoy good food, to be with loved ones, to relax with leftovers, to unwind and be thankful. In the regular bustle of life, I often feel I’m just rushing through my days, i.e. getting the kids to school, rushing to work, bouncing between meetings and then rushing to pick up the kids and getting through the night routine. Phew, it’s exhausting thinking about it… and there is so little time to smell the roses.

This week I get to experience both the bustle of the preparation and the space to smell the roses, or in this case, the food, wine and good company. I love cooking and typically throw myself into Thanksgiving preparations, it’s my vehicle for expressing love for my family and friends. Our dinner is a potluck, so it’s a collective sharing of food, love and mutual appreciation for each other. When the meal begins, there’s usually a quiet moment as everyone settles into exploring the landscape of their plates. Then the conversation comes back and time seems to slow down to match our need to take it down a notch and enjoy each other. And in the spaciousness of this holiday, there is gratitude.

In the spirit of the holiday, I’ve been thinking about gratitude and spaciousness this week and noticing the possibilities of experiencing it. When I pause, I notice the bustle slows down, my breath gets a little deeper and my heart softens. I feel the possibility opens up for me to be more present, patient and loving with my family and others around me. And in the pause, I am taking a moment to be kind to myself which creates the possibility to be truly open and gracious with others.

As we wind up 2011 and head into the holiday season, what are you thankful for? What do you notice when you take a moment to pause and feel gratitude? Who would you like to share that with?

Ernest Mark is a coach and consultant working in the non-profit social justice sector. He works with a broad cross section of leaders and organizations across the sector and brings an approach that is fiercely culturally relevant and community led. Ernest lives in Oakland, California with his wife, Mimi, and daughters, Olive and Juniper. Ernest can be reached via email at ernest@ernestmark.com.

Create a better conversation…next week and beyond

Next week, November 21-27, is Better Conversation Week. This week is set aside to create better conversations with those in your life (from your significant other or your best friend to a client or acquaintance). Even those who converse constantly can use a simple reminder to consider their own conversations. [Non-meaningful conversing is an unfortunately simple thing to do…and we are all guilty of it in some form or another.]

If you add up how many different conversations you have in a given day, the number for many would be pretty significant. But how many of those conversations are “good?” I know what you are thinking... “What is a good conversation?” I think most people would agree that a good conversation is one in which both parties are genuinely interested, both parties listen, and both parties allow the other to speak.

Now consider your daily interactions. How many of those conversations would fall into that category? Probably less than you realize.

Not only that, but consider what your conversations are about. Is it small talk? Is it practical conversation (around whose turn it is to do the dishes, who let the dog out, etc.)? Is it substantial (where you walk away feeling fulfilled)? All of these forms of communication can be good…but your entire day’s worth of conversations should not fall under a single category. Like everything else in life, there needs to be balance. A really good article I came across on The New York Times website, though almost two years old, is a really interesting look at the correlation between the kinds of conversations you are having and how happy you are: Talk deeply, be happy?

So my thought for Better Conversation Week is to not only focus on creating better conversations…but really pay attention to the kinds of conversations that dominate my talk life. What about you? Share your thoughts below in the comments field, over on our Facebook page or via Twitter.

Striking a balance

A popular topic these days seems to be the often bewildering work-life balance. For some people, it is one and the same. Others draw a distinctive line when it comes to the boundaries between work life and home life. To see how coaches handle a work-life balance, we reached out to our Facebook fans with the following question in October: “coaches, what do you do to maintain a healthy work-life balance?”

Take a look below to see how our Facebook fans responded:

• “Gym every morn, bible/spiritual read for 20 mins each day, play with kids, do homework with kids, talk to wife in private after kids are in bed, read before sleep—something fictional.” Bret Snyder
• “Work and life? So when I work I’m not alive? I feel most alive when I’m working…and of course I do a lot of things: meditation, meeting friends, reading, cooking (that’s my latest happy discovery), gym, sleeping, etc. Life’s good! Including work.” Tatiana Saliba
• “I look at work as life. It’s a choice. While working, I work my ‘muscles’ for creating a deeper connection to things I want to master. There is no separation.” Carol House Jackson
• “Trabajar con pensamiento de Coach en todo momento, enriqueciendo asi el alma de cada persona que impactamos y sobre todo hacerlo y vivir con pasion!!!” Jose Tony Santiago
• “There’s no such thing as balance! Only resilience.” Lisa Austin
• “Reflect on my life wheel everyday.” Leona Wan
• “Work at it!” Sylvia Baumgartner
• “I start each day with a swim, after that I am ready for whatever the day brings. It’s all life, when you love what you do you know you have cracked it when you never get a Monday morning feeling.” Denise Chilton

What about you? How do you maintain a balance between your work life and your personal life? We’d love to know—leave a response below or join the conversation at Facebook.com/ICFHQ.

How a positive mindset impacts us

SIG: Energy Work and Coaching: The Next Wave
Presenter: Rhona Post, MA MCC
Date: Monday, November 21 2011, 11:00 a.m. (New York)

Building upon the input from the October session, how our private and public identities often keep us from experiencing wholeness, our November session steps us into the conversation about how what we think shapes our actions, reactions and outcomes.

Joining us is Sandy Mobley, MCC and certified Core Individuation practitioner to discuss the value and benefits of having a positive mindset. We will expand the conversation to focus on the integration of energy work to support an individual’s ability to resolve or release conditioned patterns that have limited one’s experience of creativity, joy and satisfaction.

For example, what triggers a “victim consciousness” and how does that consciousness shape the person’s worldview? Is the person even aware that his/her victim consciousness informs all that he/she says and does? Have you noticed how blind we are to our conditioned tendencies? Or how hard we fight to hold onto what we know and do, even when these tendencies are harmful to our health?


Rhona Post, MCC



As I build the healer coach identity, I am grateful for the support and input my coaching colleagues provide on these calls. We are opening up the door to deepening our spirituality and skill to work more effectively with powerful emotions—two areas where we often feel vulnerable whether we are coaching others or coaching ourselves.

If you are interested in healer coaching and would like to experience working with a certified energy practitioner, please contact me at rpost@thehealercoach.com to set up your healing session.

Rhona Post, MA MCC, Certified Core Individuation Practitioner; +1.941.554.8466

Networking tips to try

Networking: we all have to do it. Like everything in life, some people are better at working a room than others. But being a little shy doesn’t mean that you cannot learn to network effectively.
 
Below you will find three simple networking tips that you can put to use at the next event you attend:

1. Check your attitude at the door. Before you even walk into the room, you need to prepare yourself mentally for what lies ahead. Three ways to prepare yourself: push negative thoughts out of your mind; determine what you hope to accomplish/who you hope to interact with; and take a deep breath and smile!
   
2. Be prepared. Your mindset is not the only thing that needs to be prepared before a networking event. If you often find yourself tongue-tied around new people, two ways to feel comfortable include having your introduction in place and several questions ready to ask. Your introduction shouldn’t take any more than ten seconds to recite and it should be clear and interesting. Practicing will make it sound natural (and you will be more confident when it comes across smoothly). Also, having a few open-ended questions ready will make starting conversations a breeze.
   
3. Remain curious. Approach networking and meeting new people with a curious mind. On that note, it is important to network across industries (not only your own). Make a point to expand your horizons and attend meetings of groups you are not already a part of.

Have a few tips of your own? Share it with us below in the comments field, over on our Facebook page or via Twitter.