Seven things we coaches can learn from goats

I consistently draw motivation and inspiration from my Nigerian Dwarf Dairy Goats. This may seem a little unconventional, but just go with it. Sometimes I just watch “Trixie” and "Vincent aka Vinnie Van Goat" in amazement. They are ZEN warriors and continue to teach me how to be a better human every day. Here is just a tiny list of things we COACHES can learn from my goats.

1.  GOAT: Live Life On The Edge  VS.  COACH: Be Fearless For Your Clients
They climb to the highest reaches of their goat jungle gym, nap on top of the huge recycle bins, and test the severity of the current to our electric fences. These goats teeter on the brink of danger at least ten times a day. They are fearless, just like we coaches need to be. Ask the tough questions. Point out the dumbfounding assertions. Remain fearless.

2.  GOAT:  It’s All About The Food  VS.  COACH: It’s All About The Motivation
Just like our pot-bellied pig neighbor, Delilah, Vinnie and Trixie will do anything for food. Though these kosher herbivore creatures might have different tastes from each other, Vinnie and Trixie have one thing in common: nothing motivates them like food. As coaches, we must remember that all individuals are motivated by something. Our job is to define exactly what that is – for our clients.  Look for it and listen. It will become clear. Keep their motivators in mind constantly.

3.  GOAT: I Open At My Own Pace!  VS.  COACH: The Client Opens When Ready!
Whenever Vinnie and Trixie hear the door open to the backyard, they always come over to the entrance of their pen. However, once you hop over the fence into their space, they back away slightly. When they are ready, they approach wearily, slowly, throw their necks in the air and get right up in your space. That’s their way of hugging. As coaches, we have the incredible opportunity to work with all sorts of unique characters. I believe the aforementioned situation is the exact same dance we maintain with our clients. They are excited to start each session. We open ourselves. We challenge their space. Once ready, they open. This is one of the most extraordinary gifts – to witness clients transform right before our very eyes. 

4.  GOAT:  Be Master Escape Artists  VS.  COACH: Be Ready For Anything!
Goats can escape from any fence, any pen, or any situation if they feel threatened. It is incredible to watch them scale a six foot fence with just two steps (or hops, rather). We, as coaches, get to embody the definition of determination and dedication, mirroring my goats. Therefore, as coaches, we must be ever-ready for whatever happens and continue to stay open and flexible at ALL times, no matter what.

5.  GOAT:  Just Walk It Off  VS.  COACH: Never Take Anything Personally
Trixie likes to test her agility every time we turn around. When she gets hurt physically or emotionally, she makes a little goat-noise squabble, shares her woe with Vinnie for a two-second bit, and then walks and shakes it off. Now, that's inspiring. I invite you to go even one step further with your clients. This is your friendly reminder never to take anything personally. It’s all about them. Not about you.

6.  GOAT: Be Curious About Everything   VS.  COACH: Be Curious About Everything
Goats are curious 100 percent of the time. They explore. They circumvent. They plot. Vinnie and Trixie carry within them a great light of curiosity and it's infectious. Write this down. Be curious 100 percent of the time. Ask questions. Pry. Challenge them. Be confident. Be curious.

7.  GOAT:  Be Playful All The Time  VS.  COACH: Never Take Anything Too Serious
Vinnie and Trixie constantly act as if life is just one big playful recess. Even though they are literally “fenced in” behind my house, they embody the true meaning of freedom. If my goats can find intellectual/spiritual freedom within their fenced domain, it is more than possible for ALL of us to find freedom within our abstract “caged” minds. They never take anything too serious. Words to live by and remember! Every once in a while, remind your clients that freedom is theirs to behold at all times. We all need to be reminded that sometimes life is just not that serious.

If we watch, goats – or really all animals for that matter -- can teach us great wisdom. Goats are not the smartest animals, but they sure are among the happiest I have ever experienced first-hand. We can all take a lesson from them. I continue to be awe-inspired and learn from them each and every day.  I am blessed to have these zen-filled and magnificent creatures in my backyard.

Challenge question:  From where do you draw your insights and inspiration for coaching?

By Seth Santoro. A first time self-help author, coach, blogger, public speaker, aspiring TV host, and producer, Seth’s vision is to Inspire the World, One by One, to Smile From The Inside.  He has a great deal to say, the basis of which is Know who you are, Embrace who you are and Be who you are - no matter what the circumstance or what your past – and you can heal from anything.  Seth’s first book in a trilogy series is “How I Learned To Smile From The Inside,” available now on Amazon. Learn more about Seth http://SmileFromTheInside.com/, http://smilefromtheinside24.blogspot.com.

What do I need to know about Neuroscience as a Coach?

Perhaps the question before this one is actually why as a Coach I need to know about neuroscience at all? Neuroscience can sound a little scary to some people, when in fact it is just the study of the brain that comes with its own set of jargon, which once broken down is as comprehensible as the study of Coaching. We didn’t used to know that much (relatively) about how this incredible organ worked, however in the last 30 years our knowledge of it has increased dramatically. That is one reason it is so exciting to learn about it now as a Coach, because the information now available can dramatically enhance your understanding of how people work. 

Having always been a bit of a ‘science geek’ when I first started studying Coaching I was always asking myself (and my teachers) ‘how does this actually work?’. I was looking for the most fundamental answers. I thought that if I understood at the most basic level what was happening then I would have the most flexibility to work with my clients and tweak tools to ensure I helped them get the best result. Before we dive into look at that most fundamental level it can be useful to consider an overview. 

We can break neuroscience for Coaches down into some clear simple pieces:
1.     The brain is responsible for the results an individual gets in their life.
2.     An individual’s brain is on their side, its main aim is to keep its host alive!
3.     The brain is constantly on alert for any threats or potential rewards.
4.     Physical and social threats and rewards use the same parts (automated neural networks) of the brain. (We didn’t use to think this was the case, and most people still operate as if it isn’t).
5.     Threat responses often impair your client’s performance while reward responses enhance it.
6.     Your responsibility as a Coach is to help facilitate your client’s self-directed neuroplasticity. (Help them adapt their brain to best support them).
7.     Like Coaching, rewiring a brain is a journey. 

The basic neuroscience components that are practically useful to a Coach are:
a.     The anatomical areas of the brain, what they do, how they work optimally and how to work with them when challenged.
b.     The neurochemicals, the little messengers that affect the whole body, what they do and how you can increase or decrease their presence.

Once these fundamentals are mastered then you can then start looking into the way that the brain works to help you more fully understand core Coaching tools and skills.

-       What areas of the brain are used in goal setting? How can we increase the likelihood of a client achieving their goals?
-       How are beliefs really formed? Do the NLP belief change tools work from a brain perspective?
-       Why are habits hard to change? What secrets does the brain share with us to dramatically improve how we approach change?

So is it worth it? Learning the new language, working through the new processes and at times updating some of your beliefs? Absolutely. The field of neuroscience will continue to provide us with more great insights into how people work. Coaches who want to remain at the cutting edge of their field will inevitably equip themselves with this latest research and apply it to best serve their clients. Understanding how to make your client’s brains work even more fully rewards both you and them.  

Amy Brann is the author of ‘Make Your Brain Work’ published by Kogan Page. The popular makeyourbrainwork.com community contains interviews with scientists and business people along with resources mentioned in the book. Through her online program, Neuroscience for Coaches, Amy helps Coaches who want to be leaders in their field understand more about the brain and how to work with it.

The Tax Man Cometh

Did you know that 75% of adults responding to a recent American Psychological Association survey said they experienced moderate to high levels of stress in the previous month? More than half the respondents claimed their stress had increased over the past year!

Doing the tax dance can produce positive or negative stress. We like the positive and work hard to eliminate, ignore, or deny the negative. But we’re still stressing.

Unlike other forms of coaching, healer coaching does not simply provide temporary relief from stress. Clients learn to untie the mental knots affecting their mind, body, spirit and emotions, releasing themselves from habituated patterns of reaction. By learning to distinguish between the activity/ story and the stress to which they attach, clients transform their relationship to stress. They are more competent to correct and monitor their thoughts, speech and action. Most of us can’t do self- surgery when it comes to changing ourselves. We need someone upon whose guidance and expertise we can rely.

Recognize You’re In Stress:
Identify one area in your life where you’re living with chronic stress. Each time a thought or experience creates agitation or dissonance, you’re stressing. Learn to recognize the difference between ease of mind and agitation. The constant internal chatter of “I like this, I don’t like that” breeds stress.

Make Friends With Your Stress:
Get to know your stress. Be curious about its texture, flavor, focus, and themes. Invite the Stress into your home where all guests are welcome. Sit with your stress on the couch. If you don’t familiarize yourself with your stress, how can you transform it?

When You’re In The Stress:
1. Develop a daily mindfulness practice. Whether you sit for ten minutes or one hour it’s the quality of the practice that counts. John Cabot Zinn materials provide a nourishing place to begin your sitting practice.

2. Time Outs. We assign them to our kids when they’re acting out, why not assign one to yourself

3. Exercise (cardio or yoga). Try both to see which activity fits your need. Regular exercise conditions your body to serve yourself and others. 

4. Find a Way to Release The Pressure: Many of us attach to our stress, re-telling stories in numerous ways so that the story gains more fury. Like a pot of coffee cooking all day on the stove, the stories/secrets we harbor become acidic, leaving us weaker, less powerful to take action. We become victims to our stress. Find a committed listener, who has no personal agenda. Whether you choose a therapist, coach, or mentor, the one requirement is that your listener passes no judgment, provides no feedback unless you ask for it.

5. When in the middle of a storm, do damage control. If you’re getting swept away by your destructive emotions, pull the plug. This step is not always easy to do because when we’re experiencing negative emotions, we enjoy going for the jugular. Stabbing someone we think is hurting us feels good, even when we know it’s not how we want to be. Again, take a time out. Even if the person you’re stabbing is yourself!

6. Acknowledge the event. Apologize to yourself or to others who got caught in the fire. Make amends. Promise not to repeat the pattern for a specific short period of time (hours, not days). Whether you can change your behavior or not, acknowledge that you tried. Forgive and forget. 

7. Sticks and Stones Can Break Your Bones. But names can never harm you. Our egos are big even when we think they’re not. If you say something regrettable, or someone has spoken harshly to you, remember, words alone do not harm us. It is your ego, your pride that’s taking what is said personally. Developing a mindfulness practice will help you roll with life, instead of fighting.

What would it be like to be free of negative emotions causing stress? As April 15th draws close why not look at areas in your life where you are chronically stressed. Then ask if the tips and techniques you’ve tried have alleviated your stress? If you’re settling for temporary relief, call me.

Rhona Post, a master certified coach with the International Coach Federation since 1999, has traversed the landscape of coaching with certifications in ontological, somatic and intuitive energy healing. A mindfulness practitioner, she provides a unique approach that supports clients to be comfortable in their own skin. Rhona hosts a monthly Energy Work & Coaching Community of Practice for ICF coaches. Her current book, Navigating Tomorrow, a self-change manual is available in print and eBook on Amazon.com. She maintains an international individual and group healer coaching practice in Sarasota, Florida, working by phone, Skype and in person. Learn more: www.thehealercoach.com.

The Value of ICF Membership

 

 

Visit the ICF Global YouTube channel for other ICF and coaching videos.

What do you choose? Fear or Joy?

Can you relate to that terrible imagining? 

You know how you're watching your child fast asleep; just a little baby, and you're thinking how blessed you are and how much you love him? 

And then your thoughts wander to how you can barely remember what life was like just a few months ago, before you had kids. 

And then you watch him breathe and suddenly imagine he's not breathing… 

And then you get really scared and imagine all the terrible things that could happen to him…

I think we all do this. I know Brene Brown talks about it in her amazing books. 

Here's the thing though, I realize that we do it in our business as well.  It's not just about the people we love or the things we care about…it's a kind of 'giving in' to the fear.

What will happen if I don't get more clients?
How will I survive if this latest idea doesn't work out?
How many times can I bounce back after I fail?
How can I be so sure that this will work?

These are very natural fears that come with the courageous act of having your own business.  The question is how can they be managed? Or disappear?

Just the other day, I was talking to a business owner about the power of finding your story and how it's an amazing way to beat old sabotaging ideas and fears. She said, yes, "I get that logically but how do I really begin to live it?"

I explained that we tell stories all the time and that they really define our reality. It's all in our stories. Think about it, every time we have any kind of meaningful experience, we tell it.  And what we tell is completely subjective; we choose everything about the story. The strange thing is that then we tend to imagine that it somehow just 'happened' to us and we had absolutely no control. So we allow our stories create our reality.

And that's good news. The minute you start paying attention to your stories, you can tell more empowering ones; stories that are not about fear and crisis, stories that are about possibility!

So next time you catch yourself telling a story that is based in fear – catch it, watch it, and notice that it's simply your story. You can tell it – or not. You can choose to tell a story that serves you well; a story of joy, a story of beauty, a story of blessings and a story of possibility. 

Which would you prefer?

Lisa Bloom, PCC is founder of Story Coach Inc. and the Certified Story Coach Program.  Download her ebook ‘Using Stories to Get Great Clients’ at http://www.story-coach.com.

Why improved time management requires baby steps

In our coaching work with clients, sometimes it's tough to resist the temptation to put them on the "fast track" to improvement. We believe that we already have the perfect solution and intend to give them the details all-at-once. Our hope is that a single intense session will fix the problem.

For simple issues, this approach works. However, helping your clients improve their time management skills is much more difficult. Here's why.

Time management skills, are for the most part, self taught. At some point in their teenage or young-adult years, in the face of demands and deadlines, your clients assembled a set of habits, practices and rituals. They used these elements to form a system that governed their daily lives from that point onwards.

By the time they arrive for their first coaching call with you, they are already unconsciously competent in the use of their system. Most will have forgotten its origin. They'll tell you that they "just do it."

As their coach, however, you need to understand that their homegrown solution is not a total failure even if it has obvious faults. Deeply embedded in their neuro-muscular memory, it's played a part in delivering every single positive result they have produced. Obviously, there are parts of it that work well.

Too many coaches in time management ignore this fact and treat clients as if they were kids. In the first session, they outline a brand new, complex system of habits and practices that needs to be implemented as a whole in order to make it work. However, most clients cannot implement a new system all-at-once. It's no wonder that the failure rate is high for time management training, according to the research.

A far better approach is to teach your client to take small steps. Where would these steps come from?

When I moved to live in Jamaica several years ago after many years of living in the U.S. I was baffled at first by my new inability to manage my time well in a hectic environment. It led me to look for a time management system that could flexibly deal with a major life change.

In the end, I didn't find what I wanted, but the other insights that came were interesting enough to start writing a blog. In my first few posts I outlined 11 ladders of distinct skills, each including rungs ranging from low/novice to high/expert. I discovered that all working professionals manage their time using these skills, but end up with different-looking systems with uneven skills: high rungs on some ladders, and low rungs on others.

This occurs because they are self-taught.

What I did wasn't special - it's something that the average coach could do with some legwork: take a complex behavior and break it down into mutually exclusive but collectively exhaustive practices. In time management, there are many books and programs that describe particular rungs in detail, but clients like to see the entire ladder in order to know what they have already learned, where they are today, and what they would like to accomplish in the future.

When they do this kind of self-diagnosis, they gain an instant comparison against best and worst practices. Many report that it's like looking in a mirror for the first time and being able to see simple opportunities for improvement on their own.

As coaches in time management, we need to be prepared with simple ways to teach clients how to take baby steps based on the principle of gradual but steady improvement. It's far better and safer than offering up one-size-fits-all prescriptions that over-promise a "fast track" of implausible improvement.

By Francis Wade. Francis is a pioneer in Time Management 2.0 at 2Time Labs, whose mission is to make time management easy for everyone, everywhere. He helps coaches, trainers and consultants work with time cluttered clients at http://mytimedesign.com and is the author of Bill's Im-Perfect Time Management Adventure.

How the heck did that happen?

Do you ever look back to significant life events and ask yourself, “How the heck did that happen?” There are always a whole string of events, coincidences and decisions that got you to that moment in time where you experienced the big event. When you look back you say, “Wow, if I didn’t do that then this wouldn’t have happened and this wouldn’t be...” It is sort of like the movie “It’s A Wonderful Life”, where George Bailey gets to look back and see what life would be like if he didn’t live it.


8,000 attendees eating lunch. Photo by Denise Maccaferri.

Well, I am having that sort of experience with the Massachusetts Conference for Women. This happens to be the biggest women’s conference in the USA as 8,000 women attended the phenomenal December 2012 event. And The International Coach Federation of New England was there in all it’s glory with a spectacular vendor booth and 40 fabulous coaches who coached hundreds of women at the conference. The energy was palpable and the outcome was beyond our expectations. It was a day not only for conferees but also for the coaches. They enjoyed a world class conference with top speakers and inspiration, a wonderful lunch with 8,000 of their BFFs and the camaraderie of their peers.

This all started with a serendipitous last minute invitation from one of my clients who asked me to attend the conference with her as her guest. I had never been, spontaneously decided to accept the invite and was then wowed by the experience. As I walked the halls, I kept asking...Where are the coaches? Here we have all the enthusiasm, inspiration and dreams being ignited and energy generated by the conference and Where are the coaches?

 

I decided to ask the Conference that question. I sent an email that said,

 

“NOW WHAT?

After all this inspiration,

I still have to go back to reality...

How do I take the next steps?

How do we harness the energy and take it forward?”

 

"The International Coach Federation of New England is ready to help answer that question. Envision 50 coaches working with hundreds of women in the conference afternoon? That would make a positive difference in many lives... That would be one physical step closer to transforming lives. That is what we coaches do best.”

The director of the conference called me the next day and we got to work taking this seed to fruition. We also including the ICFNE committee that spontaneously generated and worked tirelessly together to create all of this. The conference is also held in Texas and Pennsylvania and the ICF in those states were invited by the Conference to participate. One small step that resulted from just noticing an opportunity, has positively impacted thousands of people. It was enthusiasm and curiosity that fueled this adventure. And we are busy working on some exciting plans for conference 2013...

 

In the words of George Bailey, “Well whaddya know about that!!!”

 

Anne Barry Jolles, MBA, PCC, serves as  Chairperson for Partnership of Massachusetts Conference for Women and the International Coach Federation of New England. Learn more at www.annejolles.com. Anne can be reached via email at abjcoach@comcast.net.

Ten ways coaching can help your organization

The below post was written by ICF Global staff for the Human Capital Institute.

In recent years, professional coaching has shown a significant return on investment for companies. Wondering how it can help your organization? Read on for ten ways.

1. Coaching can assist organizations with key business goals. Within the coaching partnership, the coach will work with your employees to identify and create clarity around key business goals and establish effective management strategies to ensure goals are met.
2. Coaching can bolster creativity. A coach will support your employees in confidently pursuing new ideas and alternative solutions with greater resilience and resourcefulness. A coach will encourage fresh perspectives and provide inspiration through the questions they ask during sessions and the actionable goals they co-create with your employees.
3. Coaching can manage the change that accompanies growth within your organization. Professional coaching is an important modality for managing change—including growth. A coach will help your employees assess current needs, opportunities, and challenges, all while maximizing the potential they already possess.
4. Coaching can boost productivity and effectiveness. This is especially important if you have employees taking on new or leadership level roles. Coaches are trained to work with clients to inspire them to their personal and professional potential, thus increasing productivity and effectiveness. Within the coach-client relationship, a focus will be placed on learning and clarity for forward action. According to the ICF Global Coaching Client Study 70% of clients reported a positive improvement in work performance.
5. Coaching can develop communication skills. The ICF Global Coaching Client Study revealed that 72 percent of those being coached noticed an improvement in communication skills. Furthermore, individuals who have engaged in a professional coaching partnership have walked away with fresh perspectives on personal challenges and opportunities, enhanced thinking and decision-making skills, enhanced interpersonal effectiveness, and increased confidence in carrying out chosen work and life roles.
6. Coaching can help your organization attract and retain talented employees. If you have trouble finding great employees (or getting them to stick around), your organization needs to commit to investing in employee development. Coaching is an ideal way to develop your employees and show your employees you value their development.
7. Coaching can bring work-life balance into the lives of your employees. An employee experiencing the benefits of a balanced life is a happier employee. And a happier employee is a more productive employee. A coach can work with your employees to discover, clarify, and align with what your employees hope to achieve, including a stable work-life balance. According to the ICF Global Coaching Client Study 67% of coaches saw an improvement in balancing work and life.
8. Coaching can help your employees thrive. Virtually all companies who hire a coach are satisfied with the outcomes. The ICF Global Coaching Client Study found that 99 percent of coaching clients were “somewhat” or “very satisfied” with their overall coaching experience. And 96 percent of them would repeat the process.
9. Coaching can help your company flourish despite uncertain economic times. Coaching is a very powerful tool in the face of uncertainty—organizations of all types and sizes have experienced the value professional coaching brings including: increased business performance, improved product quality, higher employee retention and morale, greater employee commitment, leadership development, conflict reduction, team building skills and more.
10. Coaching can restore self-confidence to organizations hit hard by the recession. Organizations that have experienced workforce reductions through downsizing, restructuring, or a merger place extremely high expectations on the remaining workforce. Restoring self-confidence to face the impending challenges is critical to meet organizational demands. The ICF Global Coaching Client Study shows 80% of those being coaching saw an improvement in their self-confidence.

You’ve seen what coaching can do for your organization. Now we’ll show you the bottom-line.  Coaching offers a significant return on investment (ROI) for companies. The ICF Global Coaching Client Study found that 86 percent of companies made back at least their investment. Of those, 28 percent saw an ROI of 10 to 49 times the investment and 19 percent saw an ROI of 50 times their investment.

Begin your search for an ICF Credentialed coach in the Coach Referral Service at Coachfederation.org.

Need to generate Chapter community? Serve others

One of the biggest challenges for ICF New England (ICFNE) is helping our members get to know each other. It is a problem that raises its head during important events throughout the year – when we are in search of board member nominations, soliciting volunteers or when we are voting for the annual Coach of the Year Awards. At these times, when maximum participation is imperative, it is difficult to rouse significant response when our members don’t feel like they know the other people in their coaching community.

We seem to be up against a “barrier of perceived familiarity.” Although our members see each other at events throughout the year, they are not connecting on a community level. We have incorporated a variety of networking activities into our live events, engaged the community through social media, and invited members to participate as volunteers but still the barrier persists.

When we announce that it is time to vote for the annual Coach of the Year Awards, we inevitably receive requests for our membership list because they “don’t know anyone.” While our members may know each other better than they think, there remains this persistent barrier of perceived familiarity preventing a sense of community within our membership - until now.

Finally, we may have found the answer – not surprisingly – in serving others.

On December 6, 2012, 40 ICFNE coaches gathered in Boston at the Massachusetts Conference for Women to volunteer their coaching services to more than 200 conference attendees. As a Chapter, we saw this as a wonderful opportunity to place ICF on a public stage and reach out to the larger community. What we did not anticipate was the benefit experienced by the 40 coaches: how it fed their sense of belonging to ICFNE, and their sense of community with one another.

Attending coaches agreed to set aside personal marketing initiatives and instead represent the coaching industry as a whole. This meant that we were creating a cooperative environment rather than a competitive one; coaches were working together to help the conference attendees, not against each other in search of clients.

Our agreement with the Mass Conference for Women included a well-placed booth in the conference marketplace. Coaches took turns representing ICFNE at the booth and the cooperative environment we’d structured enabled them to work as a team and to connect and get to know each other.

When it was time to gather for the scheduled coaching event that afternoon, all 40 coaches emerged from various corners of the conference to take their places to do some speed coaching. It was really a wonderful thing to see: 40 coaches each sitting at their small tables, talking to each other, energy building. Close by, the coachees were in line, eager for the event to begin. There was no shortage of clients; we were originally scheduled to work with 200 women and managed to connect with 240 by the time all was said and done.

The post- event energy was powerful—and now there was a connection between all of the coaches.

Nothing describes the experience better than their direct the feedback immediately after the event:

“It was a highlight of my career and my life to be a part of this Fabulous 40 - to meet other coaches and connect so instantly and strongly." – Kim Ravida, CPC, ELI MP

“It was fabulous to get inspired about women finding their voices and then to have an opportunity to coach individuals doing exactly that!!” – Tracy Fitzpatrick, PCC

“I was honored to be one of the "fabulous 40." The Conference was energizing and inspiring--I was so glad to be able to attend. And, the "speed coaching" was meaningful and FUN.” – Lisa Kleitz CPCC, PCC

In the role of serving others, these 40 coaches stood together to represent the coaching industry through ICFNE and ICF Global. It is in that stance that they connected as a community. Unlike so many attempts during ICFNE events throughout recent years, we didn’t encourage the coaches to connect and meet each other; it simply happened.

During the annual ICFNE events where members are nominating, voting and volunteering, we are still going to need to provide a membership list to participants because they still don’t “know each other.” We have a large Chapter and that issue will not go away entirely. Even so, we are hopeful that the level of recognition and maybe even the level of participation in those events will increase.

The best feedback of all? 100 percent  of the participating coaches indicated that they would like to participate in this event again next year. Now that we know what we’re getting into, it can only get better.

Suzan Czajkowski, M.A., ACC, is a Communication & Online Marketing Coach, working with entrepreneurs and small business owners to design and implement online marketing strategies that are customized to their specific business marketing goals. This work often includes developing and integrating WordPress websites, newsletters, blogs and social media. As a coach, Suzan’s goal is to help her clients understand and execute their own online marketing strategies effectively and efficiently. Suzan serves as V.P. of Marketing for ICF New England. You can find her at SuzanCz@mycommcoach.com or visit Suzan’s blog at http://mycommcoach.com.

Modelling the ‘dream warrior’

When I started my coaching practice, I was bright eyed and excited about the future.

I organised my website, business cards and started a mailing list. I met with potential clients and talked to those who might promote my business.  I did free talks. I even advertised. I did lots of things.  “If I build it, they will come” was my philosophy. 

But I waited. And waited.   

And you know what? I received more calls from telemarketers than new clients. I spent far more money than I brought in through client revenue.  This was not what I was expecting. What was I doing wrong?

Getting clients as a new coach can be a very challenging process, and I know many new coaches face a similar dilemma. For me the question about what to do next was answered by taking a look inside.

As coaches it can be a challenge to practice what we preach. I myself had put off travel for 12 years as I busied myself with work and day-to-day life.  When I started my coaching practice I did what I had always done- took action.  I thought that I had to spend all my time working on my business, and felt terrible guilt taking time out to do the things I enjoyed.  Putting myself first was still something I viewed as an indulgence rather than a necessity.  But all this activity covered up that inner voice which was begging for a break.  When I started getting colds and viruses every two weeks, my doctor sat me down and explained that I had suppressed my immune system.  She ordered me to take five days off work and do nothing more than watch Dr Phil.  Did she know who she was talking to? I was always doing something- well lots of things, actually.  To do nothing at all but rest was something I found hard to do, but my body was making it clear that I had to change my ways.  After this experience I looked inside myself and asked what it was I really wanted at this point in time. Not what I thought I should do, or what I thought I had to do.  The answer was clear- go on a holiday.  No plans, just go with the flow and experience life in a different setting- my idea of heaven. So I went.

Coming back, I was far more focused and gentler with myself. I pared down the ‘to do’ list and put more energy into myself.  It was interesting that I began to get calls from people who wanted to talk about starting up a new venture after a secure corporate job.  Funnily enough, my ups and downs were just the sort of issues they wanted to know about.  They wanted to hear about a real life ‘dream warrior’- not a seemingly perfect person for whom things happened effortlessly.  I realised that it was okay that I shared the struggles faced by my clients in trying to balance personal and professional commitments, paying the bills, self-care, and striving towards goals.  My experiences began to make sense.

So, dream warrior, what is the most important piece of advice you would give to new coaches?

If I could give one piece of advice to new coaches, it would be to make personal foundation work a priority when starting a coaching practice. The journey toward developing a solid personal foundation provides an abundance of experiences that clients will be drawn to you for, as I found when I returned from my travels.  Another recommendation would be to enlist the help of a coach to support you through the journey. Mine provided me with invaluable insight and gentle, consistent encouragement.  Without it I may have given up in the middle of the road, missing those experiences I needed to help me achieve my goals, and ultimately, make me a better coach.

“Never give up on something that you can't go a day without thinking about”- Author Unknown

For all those new coaches out there who feel like their coaching practice will never get started, keep believing in yourself and your dreams and working toward them little by little. Trust that you were drawn to coaching for a reason, and that you will be supported in sharing your gifts. As Richard Bach said, “You are never given a dream without also being given the power to make it true.” Every time something seems to go wrong or nothing seems to be happening, tuck that away as a ‘dream warrior’ experience that will come in useful one day.  Most importantly, keep moving forward. You owe it to yourself and your current and future clients to model the ‘dream warrior’ spirit by working towards your dreams.  May the New Year give you abundant opportunities to make them your new reality. 

Kristina Pawliw is an Australian based coach and writer. Kristina’s professional passions include helping people make their dreams a reality; and developing capacity in individuals, organisations and communities. As a step along her ‘dream warrior’ path, this year Kristina released her book Steps to Success- Sustainable Capacity Development following her experience working in a mentoring and coaching role in Papua New Guinea. Kristina can be contacted via her website a http://www.keytosuccesscoaching.net.

The Good Life

Note:  This is a blog that I wrote specifically thinking about parents, but on further reflection I realized that the same is true of the space that coaches need to hold for our clients.  In reading, you can think of either the parent/child relationship or the coach/client one.

I am currently preparing a presentation for parents on ways to help their children pursue the future that taps into their greatest gifts, makes them feel most alive, and connects them to their greatest passions.  However, as I am preparing this work I am becoming more and more concerned about my audience and their reaction to my message. Running through my mind are thoughts of “don’t let them think you are discouraging these kids from becoming doctors and lawyers” and “parents aren’t going to support something that leads their children down a path of being a poor starving artist type.” While in no way am I promoting the route of starvation for anybody, I realize that connecting young adults with the things that make their spirits soar can lead them anywhere. There is an uncertainty in this that can be very scary. Most parents desire for their children to go to a good college, so they can be prepared to have a good career, and make good money;  all based on the dream of their children having good lives.

In the thralls of this internal debate between full honest disclosure and the desire to actually get an audience of people to listen to me, I began to reflect on my own children and what I want for them.  Of course I want them to have a good life, but what does good mean? I believe a common explanation of a good life is equated with a life filled with opportunity and happiness. Without our intention, however, this definition has been contorted by society to mean “a secure and pleasurable experience,” but do these things really lead to opportunity and happiness? For some, it absolutely does. If going to that college and getting that job that offers security and great pay also provides personal fulfillment and opportunities for growth, then the answer is definitely yes. For others, however, the answer is a big resounding NO. What do parents do in this case? Do we sweep in to persuade our children that they need to go after a guaranteed paycheck so that they do not have to deal with poverty, adversity, and disappointment as adults? For many, this is our first reaction. Before we jump on that reaction though, I think we need to ask ourselves the following questions:

• By trying to help pave the safe path for our children, are we cheating them out of the most rich and resonant experiences of their lives?
• What is more joyful than claiming our passion and working through adversity to become a master at what we love most? 
• Is having financial security while doing a job that we have no connection to really superior to the fulfillment of producing work that we are passionate about and, then,  putting it out in the world to share with others? 
• What inner joy, what strength of spirit, what connection to humanity is created by an easy and safe path? 
• What is the worst thing that could happen if my child pursues his dream? 
• If my child does not realize his goal, is there still value in the experience that cannot be gotten otherwise?
• Finally, the most important, profound, and possibly scariest question that we need to ask ourselves is this:  What is possible if my child shows the courage and dedication to pursue her dream? 

It is only by the courage that parents show in saying to their children “I want you to pursue your dream and do whatever it takes to realize it, even though there are no guarantees” that we are giving our children what they need from us more than anything in the world:  Faith, Hope, and Love…not to mention an amazing role model.

 

If all parents had the courage to do this, I wonder what the future would look like for our children as they create together communities of passionate, dedicated, compassionate, and authentic individuals.  Is there a good life out there that we haven’t even dared to dream possible yet?

 

Regina Hellinger is an inspirational writer, speaker, and life coach who specializes in working with aspiring coaches, gifted individuals, and educators.You can reach Regina at www.ReginaHellinger.com or on Twitter @ReginaHellinger.

Time management for the coach

One of the key areas of concern that will often raise a question to existing coaches is that of time management.

I will cover this in a number of ways today that I hope you find useful and that you can start to apply to your own practice and client work.

Firstly a start up question I would like to ask you is

Do you have “enough” time or are you spending time avoiding what you don't like or feel confident in?

How can you change this?

So, now we turn our attention to the actual session of coaching.

I have often found that this an area that can raise different arenas of challenge for coaches.

It may be that you find sessions are overrunning in terms of time. Initially you have set a time slot for your coaching, whether that be an hour or thereabouts and you see that the session has overrun substantially.

What has led to this?

I see that at times clients will want to share what is on their mind and want to off load and talk. This is useful but at times can also create a question mark for you as the coach. When do you start to coach them and bring them back on track?

Firstly how is allowing them to “talk” useful to them without you needing to create the next steps or an action plan.

Framing the session and setting the scene

When I meet clients I will have already established through an initial discovery session why they have come to me for coaching, and what they are looking to gain from this, so that the actual time spent with my client in the first session is focused on the desire change.

I also say that “ today we have an hour – what is it you would like to gain from todays session?”

This sets the scene and also enables a focus on time up front. I have found this very useful when working with clients.

Checking in

Rapport and connection is very important within coaching and by always checking the time can not only break rapport but also be quite irritating for clients!

That said, it is important to keep track of where you are and what time you have left.

Not only for you but also the client may have further appointments after your time together in the session.

A watch placed to the side of you whilst you coach can be useful. If you are using a mobile phone make sure it is switched to silent! This also sets the boundaries and focus of the session in terms of time.

Emotions and time

How are these linked?

In my experience of transformational coaching I have sometimes observed that as the session is drawing to a close the client will bring to the coaching table an emotional subject that means the most to them.

At first I wondered what I wasn't doing properly or to the best effect. When I questioned this I realised that clients could also be avoiding the most “emotional” areas of their life and throwing it in at the last minute.

How do you do you deal with this?

I would firstly acknowledge it and not just “ignore” it but also say that today this isn’t something that can be explored or resolved but that you are very happy to bring this into the next session.

You may want to also explore why this was not brought up earlier? This can prove very useful for clients to link this to deeper levels of meaning and provide great coaching material for future sessions.

Managing your own time

Prepare for your session – both practically and emotionally.

Don't allow time pressures to creep up and before you know it you are rushing around trying to get things ready for your session.

Coaching slots

If you are working maybe full or part time alongside building a coaching practice then you may want to allocate a coaching day or evening rather than be available whenever you are asked from clients – this can also look good from a scarcity point of view and showing that you have clients on going.

Time for you

Part of being a coach is to help people in their lives. Whatever this means to them. As in other fields of work that involve helping others do allow time to do what you enjoy that will give your life balance and fulfilment. Whatever that means to you.

Paul Kensett is Head of Training and Mentoring within the Smart School. He delivers the Personal Transformation Coaching programme to student life coaches. Learn more: http://www.thesmartschool.co.uk/index.php and http://www.thesmartschool.co.uk/life-coach-training.

Six stress management pillars for you and your clients

It’s a new year! Holidays have been enjoyed, resolutions made, and now stress is back as our #1 complaint. It should be! Constant stress messes up sleep, makes losing weight tougher, weakens our flu fighting ability, and ignites everything from anxiety to zits. For our clients, stress also challenges effective leadership, erodes confidence, paralyzes many public speakers and gets in the way of realizing objectives.

Since the start of a year is ideal for developing goals and plans, allow me to recommend six essential actions for a less stressed ‘13, ’14 and beyond. These are not nuggets of wisdom. Think of them as vaccines--concrete to-dos for you and your clients to consistently consider, select and employ to prevent or lessen the impact of stress no matter from who or where it arrives.

1. Make a stress spreadsheet
Who and what are the sources of your stress? The successful stress manager—like any manager out to solve a problem—starts by investigating the causes of that problem. So, divide a sheet of paper into two columns. Label the first column “Stress Sources” and list some of the situations and individuals currently causing you stress. Call column two “Stress Breakdown” and subdivide some of those stress blobs that you likely wrote in column one, i.e. finances, work, clients, the post office and global hunger. These juggernauts are too big to de-stress as a whole, and breaking them down into more manageable pieces will make you more likely to start reducing their negative effects. I call this exercise Stress GPS because it provides a starting point and routes to stress reduction.

2. Check your body’s dashboard
Part two of Stress GPS means considering your stress symptoms. Turn over that sheet of paper and list how you feel when you are stressed. I bet your list might include:

• Difficulty concentrating;
• Upset stomach;
• Pounding heart;
• Serious cravings for food or nicotine;
• Headaches;
• Back pain;
• Feelings of panic;
• Perspiring;
• Anger

Here’s the important part: circle the items on your list that you are aware of when they first begin. From now on, when you sense circled symptoms, stop  what you are doing and do something to reverse these stress-fueled happenings! These symptoms are like dashboard indicator lights  that warn us to take action when the oil is low and our engine starts to overheat. Since eye strain, for example, often leads to headaches and fatigue, cease staring at your computer monitor for a few minutes and massage your eyes (with clean palms) to prevent that strain from turning into a migraine, bad mood, poor sleep, etc.

3. Counterbalance your stress
Quick! What is the one thing that you need daily to keep you functioning at your best? Did you yell, “8 hours of sleep,” “my run around the lake,” “meditation,” “a lunch break,” or “time with my kids?” Whatever you first uttered is something you should work hard to make happen--everyday. In addition to helping us perform well, these essential activities can also make it much easier to deal with daily hassles and stressful surprises. Counterbalances are timeouts from work and other stress producers and are another vital tool for minimizing stress-induced symptoms.

4. Free your feelings
Emotional intelligence is all the rage, but what about emotional outlets? Another list worth making are the people in your personal and professional lives with whom you can comfortably and confidentially share challenges, process concerns and brainstorm solutions. And don’t just make a list, make sure you use these folks as your support networkers, and let them know you will do the same for them. Bottled up frustration, anger, fear and the like corrode our spirits, and great listeners  and supporters in all forms can produce solutions, epiphanies, creativity and lower stress levels.

5. Get and stay physical
Duh, you don’t need me to tell you to be physically active. All I will say here is that regular and elevated cardiovascular activity strengthens body systems that are the punching bags of our stress, and that this foundation of stress resilience does not require a gym. Walk, walk fast, run, swim, bike, jump rope--just do something everyday.

6. Sleep well
If satisfying sleep isn’t one of your must-have stress counterbalances, please add it to the list in #3. Good sleep is the ultimate tonic for strengthening our defenses against stress’s unwanted side-effects, not to mention a vital ingredient in immune system health. Stress and poor sleep are best friends.
They encourage and feed off of each other like two schoolyard bullies who make mischief and misery. The top non-medicinal sleep enhancers remain:

• A cold, dark and quiet sleeping environment;
• Going to bed and waking up at the same time each day;
• Avoid eating and drinking too close to bedtime--especially foods and  beverages with caffeine;
• Easing from stressful activities such as work to sleep with non-stressful ones including reading, sex and Seinfeld reruns; and
• Limiting electronic screen use before sleep as our bodies interpret their blue light as sunshine (so, maybe no Seinfeld).

Like brushing your teeth, these stress reduction pillars require regular practice. They are at least as important as emails, meetings and clients. They deserve attention, respect and slots on our calendars for less stress, more success and lots of smiles in 2013.

Jordan Friedman, a.k.a. The Stress Coach, is a global stress management speaker, trainer and former director of Columbia University’s health promotion program. His Stress Coach U teleseminar is part of ICF’s Continuing Coach Education offerings, and trains coaches and other professionals to teach their clients and students stress reduction techniques (www.stresscoachu.com) Jordan is the author of The Stress Manager’s Manual and co-author of The Go Ask Alice Book Of Answers. He provides free how-to videos, exercises and other resources for coaches, trainers and stress- relief seekers at www.thestresscoach.com. Copyright 2013 Jordan Friedman. Published with permission.