Wrestling with “I Don’t Know”

There you are – you’ve asked what you think is a great, insightful question. You sit back in your coaching chair, looking forward to hearing what your client has to say, and then comes the response: “I don’t know.”

I doubt there is a coach anywhere who hasn’t at some point been faced with a client’s blank stare and the words “I don’t know” in response to a challenging question.  (Of course, if you’re asking powerful questions, you probably should face a few “I don’t knows” once in a while!)

So, what do you say in that kind of situation? Often, the client is just temporarily stuck and unable to get past a self-judgment. Sometimes, it just takes a completely different question or simply phrasing the question in a slightly different way to help your client find a solution or to begin to work through the problem.

Here are a few possible answers and techniques to the “I don’t know” response that have proven helpful over the years.

• “Who does know?”  (Most of the time, the client will smile, laugh, and say “I guess I do.”)
• “How could you find out?”
• “Let me challenge that ... do you really not know?” (said with a smile)
• “Something is telling me you really do know – maybe the answer is just not bubbling up for you right now. How could you get at that answer that lies deep inside?”
• “Maybe you don’t know [that specific point], but what do you know that’s related to that situation?”
• “If you don’t know, who else do you know who might?”
• “If your [father, mother, boss, colleague, daughter, et al] were here, what would they say?”
• “If the wisest person you know were here with us right now, how would that person respond?”
• Repeat the question again.
• Remain silent.

Which ones of these have you tried? What were the outcomes? What other techniques or questions have you used with success? Please share below and help us build each other’s coaching tool chests!

Brenda Bence

Brenda Bence is an experienced senior executive coach, dynamic trainer and speaker, internationally-recognized branding expert, and author of four award-winning corporate and personal branding books.

With an MBA from Harvard Business School, Brenda spent the first 20 years of her career building mega brands for Fortune 100 companies, where she was a senior executive responsible for billion-dollar businesses across four continents and 50 countries.

In 2002, Brenda left the corporate world and founded BDA International. Now, with clients that span the globe and with offices in both the U.S. and Asia, Brenda travels the world speaking, training, and coaching individuals, entrepreneurs, and corporations to greater success through creative yet practical brand development.

Three key mistakes to avoid in setting goals

The below post first appeared on CBS MoneyWatch:

If you set goals for yourself or for others as part of your job, it is imperative you don't make the goal-crushing mistakes discussed below. You already learned how positive fantasies hurt real-world success -- namely, that when you imagine the positive result too vividly, you experience some of the joy and become less energized to actually do the work. But that's just the beginning. Not all goals are created equally. According to research from Harvard Business School, you need to avoid these common errors in setting goals:

1. Goals that are too specific. One benefit of goal is that is focuses your attention. It forces you to focus all of your attention, resources, and energy on a single objective, rather than a range of disparate and even conflicting goal. That can be incredibly powerful. People without goals diffuse their energy across multiple objectives. But have them train their sights on something specific and you will begin to see results. That's the good news.

The bad news? Goals can be too specific. The biggest problem is when you set the wrong goal. You decide to lose 15 pounds. Seems reasonable, but it may be too focused on a specific number and distract from what you really want -- better health. Remember Enron? Their goal was laser-focused on hitting revenue targets -- so much so that bonuses and other incentives were pegged to sales, when a much better goal would have been to target profits.

Another side-effect of excessively targeted goals is that you can become blind to important, but seemingly unrelated, issues. A tragic example of this is the Ford Pinto, which had a tendency to explode in rear-end collisions. The automaker's goal was to bring the car to market, overriding safety concerns.

2. Too many goals. According to the Harvard report, "Individuals with multiple goals are prone to concentrate on only one goal." But which one? Research shows that when we have both quantity and quality goals, we will focus on meeting the quantity goals because they are easier to achieve and measure. The lesson here is to strip away as many of your goals as possible and focus more intensively on a smaller number of objectives.

3. Inappropriate time horizon. We see this play out every quarter in the stock market. For many companies, it's all about hitting this quarter's earnings, even if if that harms long-term growth. It's the kick-the-can approach to goal achievement. And if your time frame is off, your goals may act as a ceiling to performance.

Take an enduring question that the Harvard report addresses -- why it is so hard to get a taxi on a rainy day. Too much people looking for a cab, right? Yes, but there is more to it than that. Cab drivers typically set daily fare goals -- usually double the amount it costs them to rent their cabs for their shift.

With rain comes more customers, so they hit their daily goal early and then go home early. In short, for cabbies the daily goal time-frame is not the most effective. If they set weekly or monthly targets, they could work longer hours when it rains and get off early on days when it is dryer (and slower).

Robert Pagliarini

What are your goals? Are they too focused? Do you have too many? Or do you have time limits that aren't realistic? Review each of your goals so you don't commit the mistakes above and to ensure your goals are designed for maximum success.

Robert Pagliarini is a CBS MoneyWatch columnist, bestselling author, professional life coach, and founder of Richer Life—a community for people who want to achieve more at work and in life. He has appeared as an expert on 20/20, Good Morning America, Dr. Phil, Dr. Drew's Lifechangers and many others. Sign-up for Richer Life Tips at RicherLife.com to get a daily email that provides inspiration and insight each morning.

The Brave and the Weak

Tears in his eyes: is he a failure?

Tears in her eyes: she has nothing but doubts by now.

Be brave - that’s all they hear. Stop whining. Go and get a job. Whatever job. Just be back to your old self, earn decent money, support your family, buy a bigger house, travel. Come back to our tribe of working-hard fellows.

Hungary’s economy is down, leaving many excellent professionals without a proper job for months. Coaching them (sometimes for free) means a lot to me. A lot more than skill-coaching a well-to-do manager, polishing his nearly perfect carrier. Outplacement and career-change coaching is challenging, full of surprises and insights for both parties in the process. On the one hand, it’s well structured: we talk about goals, strengths, CV, networking, negotiating salary. On the other hand all these “hard stuff” must be aligned to the actual phase of the job-seeker’s state of mind and emotions. How could we possibly work on how to use power words in the CV when the client is struggling with existential crisis?

I believe we have to be able to support our clients to be weak. To not know. To be desperate. Everybody around them expects them to be strong and brave, whatever happens in their life. It’s a man’s world, you have to play hard. Weakness is for losers. Nobody is interested in your real feelings about not having had a job for months. Smile, be confident and positive to be acceptable.

I remember loosing my mother unexpectedly two years ago. It was also a crash course on duties around funeral and stuff, like in a bad dream. After the funeral suddenly I was expected to be back in business as usual. The allowed period of weakness was over, two weeks had been already wasted anyway. Be brave! A year later I realized how much time and energy I had wasted by trying to be brave and finally let myself be weak.

I respect the weak. Being lost requires a lot more bravery than fighting. As Dante put it:

“In the middle of the journey of our life
I found myself in a dark wood,
for the straight way was lost.
Ah how hard to say what a harsh thing was
that wood savage and rough and hard
that to think about it renews the fear!”

Only in the state of not knowing, of being lost, of stumbling in the fog, will shift happen, transition be realized. How much easier is to jump from one company to another, to leave a spouse for another - and continue the same mistakes, the same road that has never been really our. And how much dedication and energy is needed to stop for a minute, even for months if necessary and re-evaluate our life, accept all our mistakes without which we wouldn’t be the same valuable person that we are today. It takes courage to stop and face our life, to be able to gaze in the mirror and accept what we see. We might be disintegrated, lose sense of direction - we might lose control. Yet this is the moment of grasping real control over our life. Good news is that after the darkest hour, the hours or weeks spent in our inner cave alone, the road turns upward again. From the time ‘wasted’ in weakness and doubts, a new and stronger-than-ever courage will arise. Tears of despair will be replaced by tears of happiness and pride. And there we are, coaches, to support our clients in the dark wood. We believe in them, we’re proud of them. Because they are braver than anybody we’ve ever met.
 

Dóra Hegedűs, ACC,
past president of ICF Hungary

Dora is an ICF certified business and executive coach, relying on her business expe-rience in corporate finance and PR, and her leadership experience at NGOs. Her clients recommend her as eye-opening and focused professional with un-conditional acceptance, humour and strong presence. She's member of the Hero's Journey Project, and one of the founders and trainers of the Business Coach Acade-my. She's is founder and past president of the Hungarian Chapter of ICF. She's member of the Steering Committee and co-chair of the Marketing Subcommit-tee of the ICF Global 2012 Conference. She's facilitator of the roundtable of the coaching associations in Hungary for self-regulation. To get in contact please vis-it http://hu.linkedin.com/in/dorahegedus or follow  @coachDora.

A penny for your thoughts

Last month, we asked our Facebook fans for the best piece of advice they have ever been given. Take a look below to see how our Facebook fans responded:

“You have choices…many of them, so feel free to make another one.” (Sinead Moffatt)

“All my advice comes from my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!” (Ricardo Em)

“John 3:16.’” (Ricardo Em)

“Know thyself – do thyself.” (Paul Coughlin)

“Learn first from the client.” (Anne Drake)

“Charge more than you think you are worth.” (Dean Miles)

“You don’t have to have everything perfect to start your business…just start!” (Dawn Osborn Langerock)

“Have faith in God.” (Patti DuBose)

“Listening is not the same as waiting to talk.” (Eric Laramée)

“The more time you let pass to fight for your dreams, the farther they will be.” (Adolfo SG)

“ONLY make decisions that move you toward your goals…if the decision is taking you away from your goal, you are making the wrong decision.” (Debbie Ruston)

“Breathe!” (Laura McCafferty)

“Be yourself, be there and resist the pressure to give advice!” (Mandu Lilian)

“Be present!” (Magdalenda Giec)

“From my father: there isn’t a problem without a solution, there is always a way to make things happen. Just pause, think, search and you (we) will find it.” (Katerina Kanelidou)

“If you love that you do, there is no way you cannot succeed.” (Don Young)

“Just do it! ~Nike” (Veronique Pigeon)

“We do not give any advice to our coaches but we ask with distinctions. My coaches give me great open questions to explore.” (Carmen Lloveras)

“Trust yourself.” (AuthentiCity Coach Laura)

“There’s never a wrong time to do a good thing.” (Ajith Kumar Chelote)

“Life is not about ‘finding’ yourself—create yourself!” (Sherry Prindle)

“Fly like a butterfly, girl! You can do amazing things! Just go with your gut and fly!” (Debbie Brown Kemp)

What about you? What is the greatest piece of advice you have ever been given? We’d love to know—leave a response below or join the conversation at Facebook.com/ICFHQ.

Coaching’s time to shine

International Coaching Week (ICW) is the coaching profession’s time to shine. Held the first full week each February, the premise of ICW is to allow coaches everywhere the opportunity to share the value professional coaching brings.

Coaches across the globe celebrate ICW in different ways—some offer pro bono coaching, others (in conjunction with the ICF Chapter they belong to or with other local peers) provide workshops, and still others reach out to local media channels to share coaching with the public. The sky’s the limit when it comes to promoting the value coaching offers! (Use this page as a starting point.)

ICW will be here February 5-11, 2012. That leaves just about two weeks to get those final plans in place!

How are you planning to commemorate ICW? We’d love to hear about it—let us know what you are doing.

Haven’t planned anything yet? There is still time! Take a look at how others have celebrated in the past. 

Don’t have a lot of time to plan anything? Take a look at these five simple ways to get involved during ICW without a lot of effort or pre-planning.

And don’t forget: findings from the greatly anticipated ICF Global Coaching Study will be released during ICW. This is the perfect way to promote coaching at the local level. Find out more.

Learn more about International Coaching Week.

Creating a new habit for the New Year

Some researchers say it takes as little as 21 days for a habit to form (this certainly depends on the person, and perhaps more importantly, on the habit).

Regardless, forming a habit it strictly that: you have the power to start (or break) habits. The start of New Year often has people thinking about changes they want to make in their lives. Many a good-intentioned resolution winds up being lost or forgotten in the busyness of day-to-day life.

However, if you were to do something differently in 2012, and you were to begin today, you could (potentially, or at least be well on your way to…) have a habit made of this action before January is over. Pretty great thought, huh?

What is something you would want to make a habit of in 2012? Maybe it’s something like daily journaling, working on/updating your business or marketing plan one more hour per week, or meeting a coaching peer for lunch at least once a week for accountability purposes.

No matter what it is for you, start today and make a goal to stick with it for the next 21 days—just to see what happens.

Happy New Year!

Take your life from good to great in 2012...

The below post is by Jayne Warrilow, a 2011 ICF Annual International Conference speaker. Watch for posts from other 2011 conference speakers on the ICF blog over the next several months.

Do you know what determines absolutely everything in your life?

Every thought, every feeling, every person, every event is the result of your energetic state of being. Who you are, what you have and what you do is directly linked to how you show up energetically to the world. It is your vibrational state, your energy which resonates out into the world.

Your energy is comprised of your physical body’s energy, your emotional and mental energy and the energetic properties of your soul itself. It is the most precious asset you have. It determines everything you experience. The quality of your energy determines the quality of your life and most importantly you can change your energy and change your world.

Unfortunately, most of us are unaware of this and we just let it all happen unconsciously. We don’t treat our energy with much love or respect. We allow the state of our physical body, our emotions and our thoughts be affected by our external environment. We put other people first. We say what we don’t mean. We impersonate ourselves. We follow paths that are not aligned with our soul purpose, or even what we really want. We can end up in a life we don’t want to lead, surrounded by people who don’t support the truth of who we really are. Our energy becomes blocked and our life reflects this mess.

Don’t let this happen to you. Choose a different path and take good care of your energy. What would your life be like if you took better care of your energy? If you had more energy to invest in your relationships, your coaching business and your life? If you didn’t leak energy on being the coach you think you should be and became authentically who you already are?

You can’t manifest what you want if your energy is a mess. The simple truth is the more you bring your energy into alignment with your authentic self, the easier life gets. You will attract more abundance.You will resonate clearly. You will re-ignite your passion, come out from behind yourself and stand in your truth.

Jayne Warrilow

You are an energetic being. It is time to learn more about your energy so you can come into alignment with your thoughts, emotions and soul. It is time to get out of your head and into your body, to bring your thoughts, words and actions into vibrational integrity. Time to become all that you can be... and take your life from good to great.

Jayne Warrilow is CEO of Resonant Coaching, specializing in advanced level training for coaches. Jayne’s powerful work which she has successfully implemented in the C-Suites of global organizations, integrates a holistic, energetic approach into coaching ultimately leading to resonance, to the next level of mastery and beyond. For more information: www.resonantcoaching.com.

Ignite passion!

I. Care. For. Three simple words that can reflect so much. In late 2010, then ICF President Giovanna D’Alessio, MCC, shared her idea of the “I Care For” campaign with the ICF membership. Drawing from the association’s branding work at the time, ICF members from across the world shared that “they see themselves not only as part of the ICF community, but also part of something much greater.”

Everyone on this planet—coach and client, has something that ignites passion. Be it a favorite charity, a local cause or effort, or some other service to humanity, everyone has something that can spark emotion—and ultimately, action.

The best part about “I Care For” is that each of our individuality shines through. What I care about may or may not be what the next person over cares about. But if we all do our part, we are all helping in our own way. And it subsequently makes the world a better place. [Remember, no act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted. (Aesop)]

So, what is it for you? What ignites passion in your life and how are you feeding it? Share it below in the comments, write on our Facebook wall, tweet us or shoot us an email at icfpr@coachfederation.org.  

Coach Those Who Are Holding Up the World on Behalf of Us All

If there's a more beleaguered group of leaders outside of nonprofits -- especially those who serve the poor -- I don't know who they are. Just when donations are down, the need for food, shelter and jobs is exploding for the people they serve.

For leaders on the front line fighting poverty, it's way beyond 'doing more with less'. They wrestle daily with how to keep the doors open to their constituents and keep their staff engaged, inspired and contributing. As for leadership development for themselves and their team, well, that’s a pipe dream.

And this is where coaches come in. If you're looking for a client base that’s hungry for what you have to offer, look no further.

There are nonprofit leaders in your city right now who can only imagine having a partner who is 100 percent committed to seeing them thrive, amidst deeply challenging circumstances.

Don’t be surprised if you find yourself coaching the senior leadership team. Many nonprofits are small to mid-sized, so you’ll probably start at the top of the organization, where your impact is greatest.

Call them forth by asking, What’s waiting to happen here? What are you on the edge of? Then watch out! The senior team – and you – will be off and running.

Odds are they can’t pay you much. But times will get better. And don’t forget these organizations have a Board of Directors, often filled with influential business leaders who could use coaching in their companies. So your networking and referral opportunities may abound.

As you consider who you might serve the best, remember those who serve the most.

Cathy Perry PCC, CPCC, is founder of The InwardBound Center for Nonprofit Leadership. The Center brings leadership coaching and training to organizations who serve the poor, and envisions the day when these organizations are ranked among the finest places to work.

Registered 501(c)(3); accepts tax-deductible donations. www.InwardBoundCenter.org

Body domain: the lost continent

What can coaches do when they hit an invisible verbal ceiling with their coachees? How should coaches continue the process when it seems that words aren´t enough?

Usually there is a deficit to use somatic knowledge when in session. When a coach not only has distinctions of non verbal communication, but is able to apply body dynamics (not only focused in techniques); these competencies allow for increasing the effectiveness of the interventions. The body dialectic enriches the process…

On one hand there are coachees who just cannot clear verbalise their real breakdown. Others may feel they can. But when it´s time to show what is happening for them and their desires, the body has its own voice in a different way of getting the message across. That means that very frequent the body´s coachee talks something different than his mind, has a different code, a different time to learn.

To further the coaching process, coaches should use a combination of verbal and non verbal approach. That is to say to know which type of strategy should be used to work the breakdown, to be aware of what the coachee is able to do when doing a body dynamic, what techniques or disciplines.

It doesn´t have the same impact and we have to know when it´s appropriate and timely to use music or elements with symbolic meaning to solve a breakdown and when not, when it´s adequate to draw or to make a collage, etc. I have learned when to move together with my coachee, and when to leave well alone; in so doing I practice being a compassionate and alert witness.

When using this approach, body manisfestation should be brought to the attention of the coachee so he could make a connection with his everyday life.

Andrea Gregoris Kamenszein

It is amazing to use power of movement as a way of growth. Often it supports a faster and deeper coaching process that the coachee clear can appreciate.

How is your experience regarding the body domain in session?

If you are a Spanish Speaking coach you are invited to participate in the SIG Coaching and Corporalidad. Feel free to ask me about this group.

Lic. Andrea Gregoris Kamenszein
www.evolucionmovimiento.com.ar

ICF and ASTD = a fantastic combination

The ICF’s second appearance at the ASTD (American Society for Training and Development) International Conference and Exposition was a fabulous experience!


May 23 booth staff

 At the end of May, more than 8,000 training and development professionals from 70 countries convened at the Orange County Convention Center in sunny Orlando, Florida, USA.

The three-day event included an international Expo hall where the ICF was situated. Attendees from 24 countries visited the ICF booth asking for more information on membership, the ICF Credential, coach training programs.



May 24 booth staff



This setting was the perfect venue for the ICF to promote the value coaching can provide an organization. Attendees were very interested in coaching as several of their conference sessions mentioned it and some speakers even referenced our booth in the Expo hall!

The ICF was well-represented; volunteers from the Tampa Bay Professional Coaches Association and the ICF South Florida Charter Chapter assisted two ICF Global staff members in manning the booth. They fielded questions around coaching—how (and why) it works.

The ICF would like to thank those ICF members who dropped by our booth and those ICF member volunteers who made our experience at ASTD spectacular: Charlene Balleine, ACC; Pegotty Cooper; Lorraine Lane; and Maria Martinez, ACC, and Marcelo Bianchi Montana.

We are looking forward to exhibiting at this show next year in Denver!

How Edgy are YOU?



Lynn Meinke

As coaches we “dance” with our clients as we follow where they lead. This is a major premise of coaching and one that serves our clients well. There is another aspect of coaching that allows us to take coaching into the outer reaches of what is possible and that is when our clients and we engage in “Playing to the Edge.”

“Playing to the Edge,” means that we are willing to stretch or challenge our thinking, our ways of being, allow ourselves not to know and take appropriate risks. “Playing to the Edge” encourages us and our clients to step out of mediocrity and move into the vastness and excitement of potential. If age, money, health or education were not a consideration, what would you do? Who would you be? What is your wildest, most outrageous dream? What would it take for you to move in that direction?

“Playing to the Edge” is the theme of this year’s ICF International Conference. The Educational Steering Committee chose this theme for many reasons. First, the Conference is in Las Vegas, which is known for risk taking. Second, as coaching continues to mature, we need to stay fresh, look at new realities, and challenge our beliefs and knowledge. Third, “playing,” indicates a sense of spontaneity and freedom, so how can we light-heartedly continue our growth as human beings and coaches as we examine and explore new ideas, challenge old concepts and arrive at new plateaus of meaning?

Join us in Las Vegas from September 24-27 for the ICF International Conference and pick the topics and presenters that will stretch you and support you in “Playing to the Edge.”

Also, have fun during the entire Conference and especially at the opening reception that is designed to inspire your creativity as you enjoy a comparative wine tasting, or if you’re not a wine drinker you’ll engage in a comparative chocolate tasting.

Go to: www.coachfederation.org/conference for more in depth information.

Please introduce yourself…I’d love to personally greet you!

cheers!

Lynn MeinkeChair: 2011 ICF Conference Educational Steering Committee

From Lousy to Great: The Territory of Recovery Coaching



Alida Schuyler

“Beth, ”a 19-year old who relapsed after in-patient treatment for alcohol, pot, and meth, was referred to me by a therapist. Beth was on medications for bi-polar and ADHD, lived with her mother, was unemployed, drinking and smoking pot, and had a history of cutting. Would I be willing to coach her?

Doesn’t sound like an ideal coaching client, does she? I saw a lot of red flags, and I’m a professional Recovery Coach. People call me when they know someone who needs help with recovery from addiction. I coach people to stop alcohol or other drugs using 12-step or other support, or to make a plan to cut back, or to go to treatment or not. I help people coming home from treatment stay on track and in recovery. The first time I talked to Beth she was scraping out a pot pipe, hoping to get a buzz.

We talked about the futility of getting high from pipe scrapings, and about choice and compulsion in regard to drugs, and set a time to talk about coaching. Neither was sure that coaching was a good idea: Beth already had a therapist and a psychiatrist, and I didn’t know if she was coachable.

Coachable or Not
Many coaches assume that those who abuse drugs are not coachable. For them coaching is about helping people get from good to great but not from lousy to great. They forget that addiction affects all levels of society and that there are both high and low functioning people who drink too much. How can a coach know whom to coach? By screening each prospective client.

An Actionable Goal
I asked Beth what she would most like to change about her life. Beth said that if she lived on her own, she’d feel better about her life. I asked what would make that possible. Beth said taking her own meds (without Mom’s help) and getting a job.

Since she was able to name an actionable goal, we discussed what was expected in coaching and she agreed to give it a try. I let her know I couldn’t coach her if she missed calls, came intoxicated, or did not benefit from coaching.

The Potential of Addicts
The ICF defines coaching as “partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential.” Addiction drastically interferes with potential. Those who resolve their addictions can move from lousy to great. Recovery Coaching helps that happen more quickly.

The Advanced Skills of Recovery Coaching
To coach addiction recovery clients effectively it is important to have advanced skills in increasing motivation and confidence. Low self-esteem is common, and motivation and confidence waver. Recovery Coaches must be effective at finding and leveraging strengths and be patient with those whose self-efficacy varies.

It is also important to be able to coach effectively all the way through change process from “Who me?” (denial) through “Yes, but” (contemplation) on to making a decision, and setting and carrying out recovery goals. Relapse is common in persons trying to change their habits with alcohol and other drugs, yet there is promising clinical evidence that coaching reduces relapse.

Developmental Coaching
Recovery Coaches must also coach to improve general development and awareness. People who lived in active addiction often have gaps. They may be very good on the job but a poor communicator at home. They may have great interpersonal skills but be lousy with money. Recovery Coaches work with clients to leverage their strengths while identifying and resolving struggles. We coach to increase awareness of choice and responsibility, to identify and meet needs, rather than turning to addictive substances when uncomfortable feelings come up.

Beth’s Progress Report
It took Beth a few months to get her on her feet and employed. Early coaching was about waking up and taking showers and going out the door. Within a year she was living on her own. Today Beth is a trusted and reliable employee. She has three years of sobriety in Alcoholics Anonymous. Last year she finished a yearlong massage school program. She still has a psychiatrist and a therapist and me, her Recovery Coach. In the past four years Beth moved from really lousy to pretty darn good, and I look forward to coaching her all the way to great now that she is solidly in addiction recovery.

Summary
Professional Recovery Coaches are highly trained coaches. We screen our clients for coachability and work with those who define actionable goals, who co-create the relationship, and benefit from coaching.

Next Steps
Send this article to your fellow coaches, to family members or those suffering from addiction. If you would like to refer to a Recovery Coach or learn more about Crossroads Coaching trainings contact Alida Schuyler at alidacoach@crossroadscoaching.net.

Alida Schuyler (pronounced AL-ih-duh SKY-luhr) began coaching in 1997, graduated from Academy for Coach Training (now InviteChange) in 1999 and began training Recovery Coaches in 2003. She is co-founder of Recovery Coaches International and has an active practice based in Port Angeles, Washington.

Pick a question, any question

About a month ago, we asked those who “like” our Facebook page to share their favorite question to ask clients. We received nearly 80 questions!

If you are in need of a new question for your repertoire, or are simply interested in what other professional coaches are asking their clients, you will find (below) a complete list of those favorite questions:

• If you could have the perfect life you’ve always desired, what activity would you begin tomorrow to help you achieve it? (Andrea Teague)
• Looking ahead, what will happen if you don’t change? What will happen if you do change? (Sercan Savran)
• What can you do immediately, right now? (Sean Finnegan)
• Now that you this, what will you do today so tomorrow will be different? (Susan Carlson)
• What’s stopping you? (Willa Edgerton-Chisler)
• I understand that you don’t know, but if you knew, what would it be then? (Chris Bysell Hamrin)
• How can you afford to waste more time until you take action? (GP Life Coaching and Consulting)
• What would ‘80’ year-old ‘you’ want the present day ‘you’ to know? (Marlene Davis McCallum)
• I can hear that you can’t see beyond, but if you are on the other side of the obstacle, how do you want to see it? (Jeffrey Carado)
• How does this solution lead you toward you deeper desires? (Martin Jessen)
• What is the question I should ask you next time to move you forward? (Emma-Louise Elsey)
• What do you want your legacy to be? (Richard Pett)
• What else? (Jukka Puurunen/Gabriella Nagy)
• Except status quo, what is the next worse thing that could happen? (Marcel Gemme)
• If you knew without a doubt you would succeed, what would you take on today? (Eno Nsima-Obot Hill)
• What is the consequence and sequence to this action or thought? (Daniel Tolson)
• What are you learning from this? (Tara Cox-Raj)
• How true is that? (Katy Flatau)
• About what are you willing to be wrong? (Lynne Adrine)
• What do you mean specifically? (Mónica Gb)
• How do you know? (Axel Ritterhaus)
• What did you want to be when you were little? (Charles Popoff)
• How do you define ‘happiness’ and success’? (Laura L. Brown)
• What are you choosing? (Amy Van Court)
• How is what you’re currently doing working for you? (Tish Times)
• Have you mailed the check yet? (Dean Miles)
• So, now what? (Sudania Chou)
• How do you show empathy to yourself? (Sue McDonnell)
• What does SUCCESS look like to you? (Two Page Mini Business Plan)
• You wake up in the morning and you see that you, at last, have the life you always wanted. What is the first thing you notice that has changed? (Zohra Dali)
• Which part is unclear? (Tommy Shek)
• If you could have it go any way you wanted, which way would it go? (Lara Klein)
• When will you start doing this? (Vegard Olsen)
• What’s the one question you are hoping I won’t ask you? (Nora Whalen)
• How’s that current (status/choice/decision/position/etc) working for you? (Ellen B. Cohen)
• What you want? (GreTa Mela)
• Would you like to explore that option and see if it is a real possibility? (Cibelis Alonzo)
• So? (Benjamin Loh)
• If you could wave a magic wand and become perfect, what would change? (John Reed)
• What would you say to a friend if he/she told you this? (Rachel Brozenske)
• You don’t know? But if you did, what would it be? (Susan Carlson)
• What is the root of this situation? (Nancy Rousseau)
• What advice would you give to your daughter/son if they were in the same situation? (Carol Pressnall Leek)
• What have you learned today? (Arturo Eggler)
• Tell me more, please. (Mario German Infante)
• What do you think people say about you when you leave the room? (Maureen Jenks Wishart)
• What does your intuition say? What does your body say? (Junior Vargas Cruz)
• What are you getting from choosing to remain stuck, unfulfilled and unsatisfied? (Andrew Carter)
• So [since this way is not working], what could you do different that might work? (Äŋđŗė Mėiŗa)
• So what is most interesting to look at right now? (Catharina Wöhlecke-Haglund)
• What would you allow yourself to be and to do today? (Fil Maharlika)
• What insight do you get from that? (Sara Örsing)
• How much time are you willing to spend to reach this goal? (Maria Klein)
• Let’s imagine your old job, how do you feel? (Future Coaching Academy)
• What does your future self say about this? Five years from now, how will you feel when you look back on this? (Anu Bhatnagar)
• Imagine a world where anything is possible. Where are you? What are you doing? How are you feeling? (Vicky Ampoulos)
• What will be different? (Tiziana Capuozzo)
• This…for what? (João Catalão)
• What changes would you like to happen in the next 45 minutes? (Johnathan Brooks)
• Who are you “being” in this situation? (Eduardo Vier)
• Would you like to sit here or in this transformational chair? (Johnathan Brooks)
• What do you want instead of this? (Jurgita Kuliešienė)
• What’s really going on here? (Sally Vanson)
• …and…? (The Performance Solution)
• What are you willing to do? (O. Lucía Serna)
• Later…? (Hande Ahıskalı)
• How would God manage if you took the day off? (Magdalena Giec)
• What would it be like if you were certain you would succeed? (Allison Linney)
• What does that tell about yourself? (Minna Sutö)
• What would you do differently if you had to achieve double your goal in half the time? (Magdalena Giec)
• So, what do you want? (Clear Mind Marketing)
• If your life was a movie, what is currently happening in the movie of your life? How much would like to change this script? (Johnathan Brooks)

ICF to promote coaching at ASTD

In just about two weeks, two of us (ICF Director of Brand Management, Ross Brown and myself, Marketing Coordinator Kristin Kelly) from the ICF marketing staff will travel to Orlando, Florida, USA for the ASTD (American Society for Training and Development) International Conference and Exposition. There we, along with various members from the local ICF Chapter (Tampa Bay Professional Coaches Association), will staff the ICF booth.

For those who are not familiar with ASTD, they are the world’s largest association dedicated to workplace learning and performance professionals. This particular show draws some 8,000 attendees (who work in thousands of organizations of all sizes) from more than 70 countries.

Our booth will promote the value coaching can provide an organization—what internal coaching is and how it can help. In pre-conference collateral, we have been promoting coaching through Coachfederation.org/value. Having local coach members on site will allow attendees to learn firsthand what coaching is, how it works, why it works and even what coach specific training entails—all within the comfort of our booth.


Chicago Coach Federation (CCF) members Pat E. Perkins (left) and Shawna Myers, ACC, along with other chapter members, shared information about the ICF and coaching at the 2010 ASTD conference in Chicago.



This show provides wonderful exposure for the coaching profession. We made our first appearance at ASTD last May, in Chicago. Members of the Chicago Chapter (Chicago Coach Federation) partnered with ICF Headquarters to staff the ICF booth and provided conference goers answers to questions about coaching and the ICF.

If you, or your clients, will be at this show, we would love to have you drop by! We will be at booth #422. If you won’t be there, check us out over on Twitter at twitter.com/ICFHQ. And be sure to drop by our blog—there will be a follow-up post once we get back from Orlando.

Internal coaching has made quite a splash in the media lately. Take a look at these two recent articles in Talent Management and Human Resource Executive Online.

Repurposing Coaching

Repurposing is a common term in our profession, and generally means taking content or work and offering it in a different way or towards a different end.

It's time to consider repurposing coaching itself.

Coaching has often been about More. About playing a bigger game. About accumulating and building businesses and leading more effectively.

At the extreme, the laws of quantum physics have been invoked to claim that the Universe will snap to attention and give us everything we want if we only focus our intentions and passions clearly enough. (Sorry, quantum physics doesn't work that way.)

The law of abundance is fine and well, as long as the economy is growing and oil is cheap and we don't look too deeply at what is going on in the rest of the world. However, the illusion is becoming harder to maintain. The house is on fire, and the fire is spreading.

When our house is on fire, any lucid person will discern which activities inside the house make sense. Getting people out of the building, calling 911, and locating fire extinguishers are actions that, given the context, obviously make more sense than hanging art on the wall, painting the bathroom, or rolling sushi with friends.

Yet, too often, we take it as our mission to help our clients accomplish what they want, or "live the life of their dreams." There is nothing wrong with creating wealth, building new businesses, and leading more effectively. Yet, too often our work supports clients' actions towards what they want (art, a new bathroom, and sushi) while failing to consider the context of the burning house.

It's time for those of us in the change profession to examine the purpose our work is serving. We must question whether we are using our skills and perspectives to make the most relevant and powerful contribution possible in times of accelerating and existential change.

Most of us have narratives about how our work contributes to a better world; I believe them to be largely true. And, experience tells me not to underestimate the capacity of the human mind to skew our narratives to justify what we desire. It is our nature to be driven more by our own identities, ambitions, and sense of entitlement than we can possibly be aware of. (I am not exempting myself from uncomfortable examination. I did some work in Asia that made perfect sense to me at the time. Now, I question whether the good really justified the wear and tear on me, on my family, and on the planet, considering the carbon dioxide emitted by my trans-Pacific flights.)

The coaching profession has developed powerful methods for catalyzing significant and sustainable change in those we work with. However, it is no longer sufficient or appropriate to simply ask people what they want, and help them get it, without also asking deeper questions. Until our own success and achievement, and that of our clients, are relevant and aligned to the global context, our own sense of entitlement and that of our clients will be part of the problem.

Coaching as a skill set and as a profession is urgently relevant to our times. We are leaders with influence. And, we have real influence with other leaders in positions of power. Influence carries responsibility. It is time to repurpose our work towards "bringing forth an environmentally sustainable, spiritually fulfilling, and socially just way of being on this earth."

Many of us already place our work squarely in this larger context, and pride ourselves on asking deeper questions that invite clients into discovery. However, as individual professionals and as an industry, it is imperative that we focus our considerable energies on this overarching purpose. To fail to do so is to remain in the myopic illusion that the law of abundance will take care of global warming, dwindling oil reserves, food and water crises, and fundamental injustices in the way the world accesses and distributes resources.

Alternatively, we can drink deeply, sinking our roots, and those of our work, into this compelling purpose. We can each choose to play our bold and unique role in times that are both dire and pregnant with possibility.



Doug Silsbee, PCC


The stakes could not be higher. We are all needed.

* What do you agree with? Disagree with?

* How does your narrative about building a better world also justify your own desires?

* Where do you stop listening to what the world is asking of you?

* What bolder actions could you be taking?

--
Posted by Doug Silsbee, PCC, author of The Mindful Coach, and leader of the ICF-approved Presence-Based Coaching training program. For other posts, or to comment on this one, visit http://www.dougsilsbee.com/blog/summit.

Coaching Young Adults

One month ago, this blog featured the post The client demographic you should be targeting now. The below was written by a coach who targets this demographic in her coaching practice.

There was recent ICF research found that 25- to 34- year-olds are more aware of professional coaching, more aware of the ICF, more satisfied with their coaching experience and more likely to recommend coaching to others than their older counterparts.

In my coaching practice, I have targeted this age group. And to acknowledge myself, I have been successful at it.

First, I know my market. I know their likes, interests and challenges - I can relate to them. In my 20's I experienced a lot of confusion and with they help of a coach, I found direction, meaning and purpose. Life is full of transitions, and one of the biggest transitions is into "adulthood."

Many young adults experience setbacks, making it challenging to adjust and achieve their personal and professional goals. From relationships, career, finances and personal development, this age group has learned from early experiences but still has plenty of time ahead of them.

Research says, "The transition to adulthood is a complex process in which youth who have been dependent on parents throughout childhood start taking definitive steps to achieve measures of financial, residential, and emotional independence, and to take on more adult roles as citizen, spouse, parent, and worker. This transition can be a period of growth and accomplishment, especially when youth have the resources they need to navigate this process, such as community connections and a stable family that can provide guidance and financial assistance if needed, and access to education and experiences that provide a foundation for learning, life skills, and credentials."

Second, the fact that your brain never stops developing is the perfect opportunity for coaches to step in and assist individuals to make positive changes.

Coaching this age group to replace old limiting beliefs with expanding beliefs is essential because they are looking for answers to change habits and behaviors. This age group is open to explore new possibilities and new ways of thinking. I find that young adults are very motivated and coachable.

Lastly, I know how to find my market. I chose my main means of marketing to young adults via the internet. Since many 25 - 34 year old's were originally shown the internet at school they are most familiar with looking for resources on the internet. Using social media, e-mail marketing strategies and other online marketing strategies makes it easy to reach young adults.

It is very exciting and rewarding to put young adults on the path to discover their truth and life purpose.

I love coaching and making the decision to become a coach was one of the best decisions of my life. Remember, if you stretch your potential as a coach, you help others meet their potential.

Reach out to a young adult and offer coaching.

Anna Goldstein, January 2011