Monday, November 19, 2012

The missing link

Posted on Monday, November 19, 2012 by International Coach Federation

One moment of rudeness, unfortunately, is greater than a hundred moments of politeness.

One moment of another’s rudeness is greater than ten thousand moments of our own.

If ten people around you suffered from a weakness that you did not, would it be odd if you concluded that you were that much stronger than them?

This is what happens in our daily lives.

We observe, rightly, a flaw of some kind in other people. Something that is just not good enough.

On an average day we may witness say a 100 flaws in others.

Supposing we are truly introspective, we may acknowledge perhaps one or two faults in ourselves…if even that.

This simple delusional data that we collect on a daily basis causes many of us to live under the continual impression that we are better than most other people within our sphere of influence.

It’s difficult, if not impossible, to love when we consistently operate out of this platform of being better because we possess lesser flaws.

Idiotically the closer (more comfortable with) we are to a person we feel the urgent, often irrepressible, need to point out this flaw.

Like a sneeze we cannot control, we just have to say  “ Hey! I know you think you’re the cats whiskers but this proves that you aren’t as good as you think you are.”

(It also proves that I’m better than you are)

Love needs an inner strength.

I cannot be accusing somebody; finding fault, complaining, yet convince myself that I love him or her.

That’s like consistently and consciously kicking the ball into my own goal and expecting the man of the match award!

Love needs our affirmation. Hate needs our accusation.

Love needs our silence.

Hate says “ I can’t tolerate such……” Or,  “I’m saying this for your own good.”

An ant may lift a bulldozer before inner weakness produces love.

It is not that we actively produce hate, but that we are too weak to love.

This world is a gymnasium, and mystically it is able to exercise both our weakness and our strength.

Our strength lies in our ability to surrender the need to defend ourselves.

Our weakness lies in our fear of not protecting ourselves.

Our circumstances and relationships are the treadmills and dumbbells to build up both our surrender and our defense, but one is built up always at the cost of the other.

Love grows with our ability to suffer unjustly. I cannot fight for my rights and love.

In this world that we are born into, we don’t need to produce hate. It is the natural darkness in the absence of love.

We are born as natural vessels of hate. Life offers us the opportunities to give birth to love.

This world is also like a womb.

If we die in our natural state, we die the death of the stillborn.

Success is in the strong inner person.

Success lies in restraint. When what we know does not compel us. When what is right for us is never wrong for someone else.

Be strong of heart. Courageous. Wait. Wait. Wait. You will receive your right, and love, if only you will not fight for it.

Our strength lies in presumed weakness.

Joseph Thevercad, ACC

A Certified Coach, Coach U alumni, Associate Certified Coach and ICF member, Joseph has been the HR Director heading both Organisation Development and Human Resources in two different industries – Hospitality and Media. In 2011 he founded his firm called “The You Tomorrow” ( URL http://theyoutomorrow.com/ ) and offers Coaching for Businesses, Executives and Life. He may be contacted at joseph@TheYouTomorrow.com.


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